Ha! Another “Expert” Crumbles

First the OED changed it’s mind. Now the esteemed AP Style Manual caves! What did I tell you? You have to create your own Style Manual.

NEWS FLASH: AP Style Manual now says it’s okay to use hopefully as an adverb! As in “Hopefully you’ll start your own Style Manual soon!

It raineth on the just
And on the unjust, we know,
And those who speak correctly
And those who don’t, and so
Perhaps it doesn’t matter
If grammar rules pertain,
But I have Yankee tickets
And I hope it doesn’t rain.

(Make that: Hopefully it won't rain”.) Thank you, Charles Osgood!

The Fairy Tale Syndrome

Haven’t you heard about the Fairy Tale Syndrome? It is diagnosed as confusion between using “was” or “were” when contemplating such things as:

1. “If he (was / were) here, I’d give him a kiss.”
2. “If he (was / were) two feet shorter, I’d give him a kiss.” 

The first is possible; he could be here if he felt like it; use “was”. The second is not possible; use “were”. It’s that simple!

NOW, if there is no chance in this world of him being here (#1), inform your reader by using “were” to indicate the impossibility of it all. That’s why I call it the Fairy Tale Syndrome -- not a chance, Cinderella!

What's Wrong With “more better”?

Nothing! As long as you don’t understand grammar. If you did, you’d quickly realize that better is a comparative adverb (good, better, best) and more is an adjective. Which makes “more better” a reverse of modifier guidelines.

Listen closely, I’ll say this only once…more:

Adjectives modify Nouns and Pronouns — period.

Adverbs, on the other hand, modify Verbs, other Adverbs,
AND Adjectives.

Stick with me, sweetheart, and you’ll get this stuff down soon!

Onomatopoeia or Alliteration

Notice the fine line between these two nouns: onomatopoeia and alliteration. 

The o-word names a thing according to how it sounds: hiss, boom, buzz, mumble, even hiccup.

The a-word uses repetition of consonant sounds, as in super sonic, pickled peppers, baby boomers.

Mix them up to learn how poetry works. The horrid hiss of the slimy snake slithering through the crackling corn turned into trembling terror in my muddled mind. Don’t you love words?

Ranting currently; noshing presently!

How are things with you currently? I’ll be taking time off presently to nosh .

What’s the difference between “presently” and “currently”? T-I-M-E. “Currently” means happening now, at this time; “presently” refers to something that is expected to happen at a future time.

OK, at one time, the two words were synonymous. In England. Then the word sailed off to the U.S. in the 1600s, and the meanings were changed slightly — just to annoy the Brits! Some of the Loyalist Tories (or is that redundant?) clung to the old synonymous meaning. C’mon, get current! You aren’t in England anymore.

Currently, I am ranting on a blog. Presently, I will take a lunch break. Got it?