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Saturday, January 10, 2015

Mass Nouns and Uncountable Nouns, 0-boy!

Have you ever heard of Mass Nouns?

Don’t feel bad. Neither had I… until I came across the term in a comic strip the other day and realized I’d never heard of this before — in more than 50 years of tracking language. So I looked it up. (Where was Google when I was a kid?)

It seems that Mass Nouns refer to things that are uncountable or non-count words. No, not unable to be counted, but uncountable (there’s a difference). Try to attach numbers to words such as: advice, fog, dust, furniture, knowledge, milk, water, or wood.

Sure, you can
take a modicum of advice,
see a layer of fog or dust,
own a houseful of furniture,
acquire a font of knowledge
drink a glass of milk or water.
stoke the fire with two pieces of wood
But can you take two advices; see three fogs, six dusts, or own two furnitures; acquire ten knowledges; drink three milks or waters; or burn two woods?

Note that many Mass Nouns are abstracts — names of things that are unable to be sensed, in the broadest understanding of sense. And there is no “rule” to cover the usage of such curiosities. Which makes for a Grammar Anarchist’s delight — the exception: most Mass Nouns are generally used as singulars.

All of that said, I wouldn’t be a Grammar Anarchist if I didn’t add that some nouns are neither or both countable as well as uncountable. Whoa! Slow down here. Consider the following examples of these feisty, uncooperative, loner-type nouns:
Work is required to earn a living; the work I do is important; give me the works in my salad; have you read all thirty works of Toni Morrison?
Paper is made of wood pulp; an alien does not carry papers; some people read three papers a day; can you write a paper about China?
Air is necessary to breathe; don’t put on airs with me; can you name three airs about love?
Coffee peps me up; some drink five coffees a day; different blends of coffees taste better.

Don’t you love US-English!?