The President Filches From the Proverbs

Did you hear it? President Obama has the “proverbial reset button”. True! I heard it on NPR. You have to wonder where he got it and where he keeps it.

When I checked the Proverbs, I’ll be darned; I couldn’t find a single “reset button” listed.

Be careful when choosing modifiers, such as proverbial and literal and absolute and first and, especially, unique. These are sometimes called “ultimates”. Make sure the ultimate is precisely what you mean.

I would expect poverbial to mean “from Proverbs” or at least “in wide usage” — and old. 

Literal infers reality over metaphor. You may think you are “literally swimming in debt”, but you are metaphorically paddling among your IOUs. You literally swim in water! 

Absolute means there is nothing more to be added or done. “Absolute control of the situation” means that no other has any control at all. 

First is another ultimate. You may be the first to enter the building, or (more likely) among the first to enter the building. Remember, there is only one first (just ask an Olympic competitor). 

Unique is the ultimate most abused in today’s language. Like first, unique means “the only one”. Which means something cannot be “sorta unique” or “somewhat unique” or even “very unique”. 

Bottom line (literally); ultimates need no modifiers. That is absolutely what makes them unique — even in proverbial usage.

That Pronoun Thing — Again!

Yes, it’s all true. That pronoun thing is getting worse. Not only do I find speakers and writers putting themselves first in multiple groups (me and her, me and him, me and them), but… oh the pain! Here’s what ruffles my poor aching eyes and ears:

John and I’s house is for sale.
Her’s and mine’s anniversary is tomorrow.
It’s celebration will be simple.
Don’t tell me that their’s and our’s spelling is wrong.

Well, guess what? It is! Those sentences include apostrophes that have invaded the Pronoun Patch.  What’s almost as bad, the pronouns have been mis-used, abused, rattled, scrambled, and out of whack. Here's what those sentences should look and sound like:

John’s and my house is for sale. (Our house is for sale would do.)
Her and my anniversary is tomorrow. (Awkward, but better. Our anniversary is tomorrow / much better.)
Its celebration will be simple. (See? No apostrophe at all!)
Don’t tell me that their and our spelling is wrong. (Again, awkward, but better. Don’t tell me that all our spelling is wrong / much better.)

Pay attention now:

There are no apostrophes in possessive pronouns: yours, ours, theirs, mine, his, hers, its. 

Please write that in big 72-point font and paste it across your refrigerator, pen, pencil, computer keyboard, nose, and mirror. No apostrophes pu-leez!

A Preposition is a Terrible Thing to Waste

What is a Preposition? 

What do Prepositions do? 

Why do writers use too many Prepositions? 

How do you keep them useful without giving them a big head?

Good questions. Here are some Grammar Anarchist answers.

A Preposition is an introduction to a descriptive phrase. That phrase can modify either an adjective or an adverb (which is where the terms “adverbial phrase” and “adjective phrase” come from). The Preposition generally provides direction or relationship (in, out, under, over, up, down, with, before, behind, etc.) Therefore, if a phrase is to do a good job modifying, it needs something to modify. That’s where the noun or verb comes in. Here are a few examples of “adverbial phrase”:

She walked regularly in the park, near the creek, with her dog. (Whew! Three in a row!)
The dog toddled along behind the walker, on a leash. (Only two of them here.)
Neither the dog nor the walker appeared in a hurry. (One dab’ll do you!)

Notice how the bold-face prepositional phrases describe the verbs (walk, toddle, appear)

Here are some “adjective phrases”, which you will see modify the nouns:

The youth, in his teens, wearing only a light jacket with pockets, wanted hot coffee with cream.
His man next to him asked for an iced tea without sugar.
Both guys seemed anxious to get to the ballgame about to start.

 Here the bold-face phrases describe the nouns (youth, jacket, coffee, man, tea, ballgame).

Keep your prepositions useful by not overdoing. Some overloaded and overworked combinations include: off of, on in, near to, behind of, and in to (when what is meant is into).

Awkward: Keep your hands off of me if you want to get on in my favor and near to my heart, rather than behind of my good graces.
Neater: Keep your hands off me if you want to get in my favor and near my heart, rather than behind my good graces.

Now you know how to keep your Prepositions in tow. BTW, One walks into a room or situation, but once inside, one is in the room or the situation. Into moves; in says it’s too late to move; you’re stuck.

Respect your Prepositions; love them; keep them to a minimum.