TODAY’S THE DAY!

I chose this special once-in-four-years day to release my new book, The Anarchist's Guide to Grammar.

This hot guide for writers is available through Amazon Books/

Be the first to write a review! You’ll love the approach that screams, “Banish the rules! Create your own style manual!” Happy reading!

Whacky Word Usage

Notice the conundrum raised by this label tacked to the previous post. Do I mean “the use of whacky words” or do I mean the “whacky usage of words”? Oh, such holes we dig when we look into this gram biz.

Strike, Struck, Striked Out!

Now we approach (cautiously) the verb strike. What’s the past tense? Depends on the meaning. Strike can mean “a labor sit-down; a hit, as on a baseball”; or one of many other definitions you’ll find in a good dictionary. While dictionaries (the authoritarian word people) claim the past tense of strike is struck, there remains the question of that baseball.

If the verb and noun are strike, why wouldn’t the past tense of “to strike out” be striked out? Much the same spelling issue as when we look at the plural of mouse — “mice”, if they’re animals; and “mouses”, if they are connected to your computer. Think about it and agree? Or not?

Cling/Clung; Swing/Swung; Bring/Brung...oh-oh!

Remember when you had to memorize that long, loooonnnngggg list of “irregular verbs”? They just kept multiplying. The list is so long that these little Do-Be’s are blamed for the difficulty in learning U.S. language. Stay on the safe side; check your dictionary — which lists verbs in order: present tense and past tense (which is the case we’re talking about). If you’re wondering, the past tense of cling is clung; the past tense of swing is swung; the past tense of bring is brought.

“And how’s (reflexive) yourself?”

I hear it all the time: “How are you?” The answer, “Fine, and how’s yourself?” Sounds a bit grand, doesn’t it?

Words such as yourself, myself, itself, herself, and himself (Nooooo, not “hisself”) are called “reflexive pronouns” because they “reflect” the subject: You may be kidding yourself.

But when the “self” pronoun does not reflect the sentence subject, please change it.
Not: You may think you’re kidding myself, but you’re not.
Instead: You may think you’re kidding me, but you’re not.

Not: He’s a great kidder, just like yourself.
Instead: He’s a great kidder, just like you.

The “self” words used as bad examples above simply mark the speaker or writers as overdoing the grammar bit. Pretentious. Please don’t use words just because they sound grand.

“It’s always darkest at its deepest.”

Okay, I made that up to show two ways to connect i-t-s. No matter how often I offer the guideline, confusion still befuddles the lazy-grammar-ites. All you need to remember is that the apostrophe (’) replaces a missing letter. In the case of it’s, that letter is the “i” in “is” (“it is”).
As in: She believed it’s the man’s place to pay.

The other “its” is simply the possessive form of things belonging to things.
As in: Whatever its place, the practice is unequal.)

Any questions?

Looking for Rules?

Why do some writers keep asking, “Where’s the rule for... ?” as if there were some magical place full of “the rules for writers — grammatical, syntaxical, literarial, spellical, and stylical”?

Listen up: many people offer GUIDELINES; however, there are no “rules” — not in the U.S.! We have a wonderful one-of-a-kind language set-up, based on English (and German and French and Spanish and Italian and...). A writer needs to look at all the GUIDELINES, choose their preferences (just like on computer sites) and WRITE! The best advice you’ll ever get:

Question “rules”
 Notes your preferences in Your Style Manual
Be Consistent
and WRITE!

Who’s Your Baby Daddy?

There was a time… back in the good old days… when we referred to “your baby’s daddy”. Today I eavesdropped on two women who used the term “my baby daddy” and it struck me that I’ve heard it before. Here’s a new piece of language to suit a new kind of situation. Yeah! Language moves!

Partitioned Writing

Partitioned Writing is what she called it. “I write memos and notes without thinking about g-r-a-m-m-a-r; I write to my friends as if I’m speaking to them; I write my newspaper column using the language of the paper’s style manual; I write my books with my own writing style — my own flair. I partition my writing to fit the occasion and the reader.”

That’s exactly what Writing is all about; that’s what Grammar is all about.

Think: Reader;
Think: Occasion.
Then W-R-I-T-E!

Take a Peak/Peek/Peke/Pique

If you’re afraid of heights and you and your pet find yourselves dropped atop Mount Blanc, taking a peek may pique your curiosity to look at the magnificent view from the peak with your peke. These italicized words are called homophones (they sound alike). They all are pronounced P-EE-K. Don’t ever misspell them again. You have been warned. Or are you afraid of The Grammar Anarchist too?

PUNK-CHEW-AYE-SHUN

Oh yeah! You may not be aware of the importance of punctuation. Try this sentence without commas and see what you get:

I’m sorry it’s not loaded Harriet.

Or this one:

He’s not sure she never knew about that Priscilla.

Remove punctuation from written words and chaos ensues — absobloodylute chaos! 

Who says you can’t make up words?

You know I love the comics and their freedom with words. Recently, “Get Fuzzy”, written and drawn by Darby Conley, threw in some original words. Bucky Katt came up with ruddite, meaning “a rude luddite”. Then added dimpid (dim and stupid), and ugloying (ugly and annoying), before Rob asked, “Are you smelliotic then?” Figure it out! Then go on and make up your own new words. That’s the US-language way!

Three Downers: If, Hope, But

If… hope… but…These words look innocuous enough, but they pack connotations that are extremely negative.

“If you agree, we can continue.”  (There’s a distinct chance you will not agree.)
“I hope you like what you see.” (Likewise, you probably won’t like it at all.)
“I like your style, really, but…” (Well, you know what comes next.) Yes, “really” falls into this category as well, when used excessively. Always question your date who insists, “I really do like you, but…”

Keep your writing on the up and up, positive, euphoric, hopeful even, and notice the positive responses you attract.

Alright already!

The people who have the most fun with words are writers of the comics. Today Stephan Pastis, writer/illustrator of “Pearls Before Swine” toyed with the one-l/two-ll syndrome. Someone criticized him for using “alright” in his strip. “Is the poor guy alright?” asked Mouse. “Hey, don't criticize him, alright?” replied Stephan. To which Pig asked, “Alright, alright. What’s going on here?”

Purists (ugh!) claim the phrase needs two l’s (all right). Yet, users keep on using just one l. Who’s right? What’s going on here?”

Multi-tasking Adjectives

Sometimes one adjective won’t do. Several words pop into mind and that’s when you call in the hyphens. Here are some examples:

Sometimes this feels like a dog-eat-dog world.
I’m always happy-as-a-lark to offer hope.
Or am I just a whistling-in-the-wind optimist?

Now you try it! Multi-hyphened-words form the entire adjective and are often more effective than a plain-old-one-word modifier.

Anyone for tennis?

Anyone, anybody, any one, and any body get confused sometimes.  
Anyone generally refers to any person, as in “Anyone in the mood for fun?”  
Any one singles out the subject, as in “Any one of you could stand a little humor.”
As for anybody and any body, same thing! “Does anybody want to play?” “Any body in this room could pull off a good joke.”
Both anybody and anyone are used as singular pronouns that take singular verbs.

Update on spelling OK

Webster’s dictionary has come to the conclusion that OK is okay as the preferred spelling. In an earlier blog entry, The Grammar Anarchist told the joke about OK standing for “all correct”. Research turns up the story that OK actually stands for “oll korreck” which was used by President Andrew Jackson to approve bills. Yeah! He wasn’t the best speller in the country. My choice remains with “okay”. I still cannot see letters as words. Now you must decide: OK, O.K., or okay?