Don’t Bug Me!

Today I’m in Pronunciation Rant Mode. How often I hear the plural of “process” pronounced “process-eez”, much like the plural of “oasis” is pronounced “oas-eez” and plural “basis” is “bas-eez”. Sounds classy, doesn’t it? Unless you know the plural of “process” is pronounced like “dresses”: “process-ez”. Stop bugging me!

Right and Wrong (Uh-uh!)

Words that I hate: correct, proper, right, true, good — and all their opposites. These are judgment words that imply that something could be “right” or “wrong”. An anarchist’s query: who says? Who is the great adjudicator who knows what is correct or incorrect, proper or improper, right and true and good or wrong and false and bad? “WHO?” I ask! If you use these words, you’d best know the answer.

Good, Bad, or Healthy

GA: “How are you?”
Friend: “I’m good. And you?”
GA: “I’m well — and good too.”
So goes the Grammar Anarchist’s discourse with people who proclaim their goodness (moral behavior) when I inquire about their health. When I’m good, I’m very very good; and when I’m well, I feel even better. I may even be good and well, which is good-er.

Did the crowd float?

When I read: “The concert attracted a crowd of over 500 music lovers...” I visualized all those people floating above the string section, smiling, eyes closed, listening. Wake up, Reporter! There were “more than 500” in that crowd. Over indicates direction, “on top of”. More than counts the people. At least in my Style Manual.

QUESTION: Why do you place punctuation outside quote marks sometimes and not others?

ANSWER: I have chosen to place punctuation inside the quotation marks that signify dialog and outside the quotation marks that do not.
Example: “The ghost is standing behind you,” she said. “Eek!” he shouted.
Example: Don’t you consider the feelings of the “ghost”? Ghosts are defined as “spirits”.

QUESTION: When should I use full words instead of contractions?

ANSWER: Of course it’s up to you, but my general guideline is to consider your reader. If you’re writing a report to the board of directors or your boss, a thesis to be presented to a professor, a request delivered to the city council... or other pieces you consider “formal”, do not contract.

For “informal” writing, as in fictional stories, notes, memos, or blogs, contract away. Incidentally, that choice, applied to dialog, can distinguish one speaker (who uses contractions) from another (who eschews them). See how choice works?

Speaking of Numbers

Writing dates can be tricky. My choices:

No comma when using month and year: July 2011
No ordinals (st, nd, rd, th) when using day, month, and year: She turned 20 on July 18, 2011.
Use ordinals  when using only the day: “My birthday is on the 24th.”

RULE: Numbers 1-10 are spelled out; 11 on up are not

See? That isn't a “rule”, it’s an opinion, a choice. Some claim to spell out numbers “ten and above”. Most fiction writers are told to spell out every number. I ask: even eleventy trillion? My Style Manual choices: use numerals for measurements (miles, feet, inches, dates). In fiction, write out round numbers up to 100 (forty),  switch to numerals for specific amounts (75). I do like to spell out three million, but I’ll use figures for $3 million. See? It depends on your preference — and what you're writing.

So I challenged my friend, “Name a ‘rule’!”

“Of course we have rules,” my friend told me.
“Uh-uh,” I shook my head. “A real rule does not have exceptions.”
“What about: ‘I before E except after... ’ oh yeah! Now I get it!”

How often must I lissen...

How often must I listen to the “t” pronounced instead of softened? In case you didn't get it, the “t” in the italicized words is NOT pronounced. Lissen, the “t” is soffened in words such as offen! How long before we change the spelling to comply?