The Almighty Comma

How much mischief can be caused by that little arc-with-a-tail? Where does the comma belong in the next few sentences (yes, you have choices)?

• I’m sorry it’s not loaded Rebecca.
• Don’t be too sure she didn’t know about that Susan.
• He wants to be a hit man.
• While I froze my wife in the next room called, “Who’s at the door dear?”
• Just as she was about to leave her husband walked in with theater tickets.

See what I mean?

Isn't there an apostrophe in Hallowe’en?

Where has common sense gone? The holiday is All Hallow’s Eve, or Hallowed Evening, or Hallowe’en (shortened version). How long are we supposed to follow the old English spelling “rules”? What do you call it?

Who will challenge The Anarchist?

I’m still looking for that irrefutable “rule” of U.S. grammar that will hold true for all use! Any challengers?

What time is it?

Time becomes more or less important depending on your place in life — except when you’re writing. Usually, especially with fiction, time can be established by verb tense (past, present, future). Choose one and set your scenes accordingly. But be careful. You’re writing in past tense, explaining what you did last summer, and you want to describe Paris. “Paris was a beautiful city,” you write. Unless the Eiffel Tower fell over or the Arc de Triomphe collapsed, Paris still “is” a beautiful city. Ain’t grammar fun!

Think You Know Grammar?

A synonym is a word to use when you can’t spell the word you really want. There are other “nyms” (meaning “names”). You probably know antonym, acronym, and homonym. but how about tautonym, eponym, and contronym? Get out your dictionary!

Everything You Know Is Wrong

Today we get philosophical. While the above is an interesting statement to contemplate, add two words: “Every... (but one) ...thing you know is wrong.” Where would you begin to look for the exception? In grammar, you would have to question everything until you find that one “right” thing. And I haven't found it yet!

Doin’ the Splits

In contemplation of the split infinitive: consider the basic verb form (to do, to laugh, to holler). When you stick other words in the middle, you split them: to constantly laugh, to loudly and obstreperously holler. Just don’t split them too wide open. Go ahead, do it. Only the clinically challenged purists will notice.

Worried about that exclamation point?

In the posting below, notice the last sentence: “Ain’t grammar fun!” Did you expect a question mark? Here’s one of those hints provided by punctuation. This is an exclamation, a rhetorical question (if you must) and not a question to be answered. In other words, “Grammar offers a heckuva good time!”

Who or Whom? Will or Shall?

Language adjusts to usage, history, and the people using it. Are you confused about who or whom? will or shall? Take a deep breath. Whom and shall are losing usage steam and soon may become obsolete (or at least seldom used). So relax, you who otherwise will worry. Ain’t grammar fun!

What "Kind" of Message?

Does the placement of a modifier make a difference? Try these sentences: 

Kindly leave your message at the tone.
Leave your message kindly at the tone.
Leave your kindly message at the tone.
Leave your message at the kindly tone.

Oh yes!

He talks slow; she speaks soft.

Whatever happened to adverbs, those things that mostly end in “ly”? In the above sentences, slow and soft modify the verbs (talks and speaks). Wouldn't a reasonably brain-endowed person accept that they are adverbs? Let him talk slowly and listen closely because she speaks softly!