Look What You Can Tuck Into Your Pocket!

My dream to place help to the grammatically challenged, right into your pocket, is coming alive. The first sixteen parts of my new series — GRAMMAR IN YOUR POCKET — have been gently downloaded onto Kindle. These are the parts of speech and punctuation that give so much trouble to those who want “rules”:

1—Introduction (FREE)
2—Nouns
3—Pronouns
4—Verbs
5—Adjectives
6—Adverbs
7—Clauses and Phrases
8—Conjunctions
9—Prepositions

10—Articles & Interjections
11—Commas
12—Colons, Semicolons, Periods
13—Question Marks & Exclamation Pointns
14—Parentheses, Brackets, & Quotation Marks
15—More Dots and Dashes
16—Putting it All Together (FREE)

#1—The Introduction and #16—Putting It All Together — available FREE — to get you started. Here you’ll understand the problems Americans have learning nefarious grammar “rules”. That's because those infamous, purported, mystical “rules” mostly apply to the linguists who dream them up. (But don’t get me started. See for yourself.)

You can download to your Kindle each or any other section at only 99¢ apiece; such a deal! 
So you want to refresh your understanding of Adjectives? Download Number 5—Adjectives. 
If you’re unsure about what nouns to capitalize, download Number 2—Nouns. 
Simple, easy, and instructive: just look in your pocket!
Your grammar skills will impress your boss, your clients, your friends, and your family.

Upcoming will be a section on Tips for Writers. I’m promising that before I leave for my trip to the beach this summer, you will have all you need to know about GRAMMAR IN YOUR POCKET!

The President Filches From the Proverbs

Did you hear it? President Obama has the “proverbial reset button”. True! I heard it on NPR. You have to wonder where he got it and where he keeps it.

When I checked the Proverbs, I’ll be darned; I couldn’t find a single “reset button” listed.

Be careful when choosing modifiers, such as proverbial and literal and absolute and first and, especially, unique. These are sometimes called “ultimates”. Make sure the ultimate is precisely what you mean.

I would expect poverbial to mean “from Proverbs” or at least “in wide usage” — and old. 

Literal infers reality over metaphor. You may think you are “literally swimming in debt”, but you are metaphorically paddling among your IOUs. You literally swim in water! 

Absolute means there is nothing more to be added or done. “Absolute control of the situation” means that no other has any control at all. 

First is another ultimate. You may be the first to enter the building, or (more likely) among the first to enter the building. Remember, there is only one first (just ask an Olympic competitor). 

Unique is the ultimate most abused in today’s language. Like first, unique means “the only one”. Which means something cannot be “sorta unique” or “somewhat unique” or even “very unique”. 

Bottom line (literally); ultimates need no modifiers. That is absolutely what makes them unique — even in proverbial usage.

Why Don’t You Believe Me?

Incredible! Unbelievable! I can’t believe it’s not true. Notice how these words are used.

1. He had an incredible body.
2. She was unbelievably gorgeous.
3. I can’t believe how cold it is.
4. Did that success you mentioned actually happen?
5. I am really happy for you.

Number 1 says “This guy had a body that no one would believe.” (Only a Schwartnegger could have that.)
Number 2 shows the woman as more gorgeous than anyone could comprehend. (Nobody can be that gorgeous.)
Number 3 shows your level of mentality, that you can’t believe 10-degrees below is cold. (Brrr! dammit!)
Number 4 questions your veracity. (“Are you lying?”)
Number 5 is a sarcastic way to say, “I may not look happy for you, but I am.” (Honestly, would I kid you?)

How often do you stretch belief with these words? Credible means “able to be believed”. Believable means “convincing or realistic”. Actually refers to “the truth or facts of a situation”. Really is another way to say that something is real, as opposed to a figment of the imagination. I find that many people use “really” as a way to say “but” (not so!) in order to cover up their disbelief that the speaker thinks something is so (I really like that color on you — but…). Ah, you remember that “but” generally negates anything that precedes it.

What's Wrong With “more better”?

Nothing! As long as you don’t understand grammar. If you did, you’d quickly realize that better is a comparative adverb (good, better, best) and more is an adjective. Which makes “more better” a reverse of modifier guidelines.

Listen closely, I’ll say this only once…more:

Adjectives modify Nouns and Pronouns — period.

Adverbs, on the other hand, modify Verbs, other Adverbs,
AND Adjectives.

Stick with me, sweetheart, and you’ll get this stuff down soon!

Ranting currently; noshing presently!

How are things with you currently? I’ll be taking time off presently to nosh .

What’s the difference between “presently” and “currently”? T-I-M-E. “Currently” means happening now, at this time; “presently” refers to something that is expected to happen at a future time.

OK, at one time, the two words were synonymous. In England. Then the word sailed off to the U.S. in the 1600s, and the meanings were changed slightly — just to annoy the Brits! Some of the Loyalist Tories (or is that redundant?) clung to the old synonymous meaning. C’mon, get current! You aren’t in England anymore.

Currently, I am ranting on a blog. Presently, I will take a lunch break. Got it?

He talks slow; she speaks soft.

Whatever happened to adverbs, those things that mostly end in “ly”? In the above sentences, slow and soft modify the verbs (talks and speaks). Wouldn't a reasonably brain-endowed person accept that they are adverbs? Let him talk slowly and listen closely because she speaks softly!