Have you ever heard of Mass Nouns?
Don’t feel bad. Neither had I… until I came across the term in a comic strip the other day and
realized I’d never heard of this before — in more than 50 years of
tracking language. So I looked it up. (Where was Google when I was a kid?)
It seems that Mass Nouns refer to things that are uncountable or non-count words. No, not unable to be counted, but uncountable
(there’s a difference). Try to attach numbers to words such as: advice,
fog, dust, furniture, knowledge, milk, water, or wood.
Sure, you can
take a modicum of advice,
see a layer of fog or dust,
own a houseful of furniture,
acquire a font of knowledge,
drink a glass of milk or water.
stoke the fire with two pieces of wood
But can you take two advices; see three fogs, six dusts, or own two furnitures;
acquire ten knowledges; drink three milks or waters; or burn two woods?
Note that many Mass Nouns are abstracts — names of things
that are unable to be sensed, in the broadest understanding of sense. And there
is no “rule” to cover the usage of such curiosities. Which makes for a Grammar
Anarchist’s delight — the exception: most Mass Nouns are generally used as
singulars.
All of that said, I wouldn’t be a Grammar Anarchist if I
didn’t add that some nouns are neither or both countable as well as uncountable. Whoa! Slow down here. Consider the following
examples of these feisty, uncooperative, loner-type nouns:
Work is required to earn a living; the work I do is important; give me the
works in my salad; have you read all thirty works of Toni Morrison?
Paper is made of wood pulp; an alien does not carry papers; some people read
three papers a day; can you write a paper about China?
Air is necessary to breathe; don’t put on airs with me; can you name three
airs about love?
Coffee peps me up; some drink five coffees a day; different
blends of coffees taste better.
Don’t you love US-English!?
