Beware the Mighty Pronouns

How important are pronouns? How would you feel if you received either of the following messages?

Some people are invited to participate, but not women.
The winner is predetermined to be a man.

Let’s rephrase those to show how pronouns project those messages — often without meaning to.

This contest is open to every entrant who shows his identification.
The winner will receive his front row tickets in the mail.

If you’re a woman, you know what I’m talking about — that beastly masculine pronoun that once was expected to serve all of “mankind”. Well, no more. What is the solution? Ah, let me count the ways. There are many, but here are two to get you started.

Phrase the message to avoid the pronoun. (The winner will receive front row tickets in the mail.)
Use plurals. (This contest is open to all entrants who show their identification.)

Now go and sin no more with sexist pronouns. Include all of humankind when you speak or write — unless you want to exclude others. And that’s not nice!

What keeps coming “between us”?

That wretched mis-use of the objective pronouns that follow “between”: namely me, us, you, her/him/it, them. Pay attention now: you do NOT see the pronouns I, we, she/he, they. There’s a reason for that.  

I, we, she/he, they are subjective pronouns, the DOers.

me, us, you, her/him/it, them are the objective pronouns, the DOees

Because “between” is a preposition, it must be followed by the object (DOee) pronouns.

YES:   me, us, you, her/him/it, them 
NO:     I, we, she/he, they
 Use any combinations of the YES pronouns after “between”.

Two more notes — 1) When there are more than two pronouns (objectives), use “among”.
2) Be courteous. Put the other pronoun first and, modestly, use the “me/us” last. 


CORRECT (hurray-whee):

Let’s keep this between you and me.
The competition is between her and me.
The promise between him or her is to accomplish the work.

INCORRECT (boo-hiss):

Let’s keep this between me and you. (you and me)
The competition is between him, her, and you. (Use “among”)
The promise between you and she is to work together. (you and her)

Got it? The Grammar Anarchist wrote The Anarchist's Guide to Grammar to avoid just such confrontations as this. Order your copy now and don’t let me catch you at this between thing again.

You went to the movies too?

Remember the old joke:

Child to parent: “Me and him went to the movies.”
Parent to child: “I believe that he and I went to the movies.”
Child to parent: “Oh, you went to the movies too?” 

Where has the courtesy gone? What happened to putting others first? Why can’t we learn to respect each other? Please don't use “me and... (pronoun)” in my presence. Things could get heated!