So so-so!

Speakers use place savers — words or sounds that give the brain time to catch up to the tongue. The primary place savers include sounds, such as “uh, er, um”. Of late, they’re being replaced by words, which range from “so” and “in fact” to “the fact is,  it's my belief”,  and “for some reason or other”. You have to wonder if brains have slowed down or tongues have speeded up.

During a recent lecture, a speaker with what must be the slowest brain in the world nearly put me into a coma. In the first place, she spoke so slowly, my brain was in danger of falling asleep. When I noticed she was using the space saver “so”,  I started counting the times she used it. Within a period of five minutes, she used “so” more than 25 times (that computes to five times a minute). It may have been more, but my brain was very sluggish by that time.

Don’t turn off your audience — whether they are listening or reading your words — by over-using space savers. Everyone has favorites. Here are some to watch for: and, but, then, now, I think, I feel, I believe (we know you think, feel or believe what you’re saying; you don’t have to tell us), and the ever-popular so.

YYUR, YYUB, ICUR, YY4me

Found this note in an old (very old) school yearbook -- waaaay before twitters and tweets. Will Espy called it “ABC Language” in the 1970s; it mimics what folks keep kvetching about -- shortcutting the English language. Well, it's hard to say where this started, but today's twitterers' grandparents — maybe great-grandparents even — knew about it. Figure out this one — and send me the answer:

AB,  F  U  NE X?
S  V  F  X.
F  U  NE  M?
SV  F  M.
OK  L  F  M  N  X