A Fun Game

Sitting at the beach? Seeking shade in the back yard? Swigging down a cool one? Converting your hot tub to a cool tub? However you choose to chill, here’s a fun game to help you forget the heat.

List as many adjectives as you can from one extreme to the other — in degrees. Example:

        TEPID - WARM - HEATED - HOT - STEAMY - BOILING - TORRID - BURNING

Now try it with the opposite: COOL to FREEZING

I’ll bet you feel cooler already.

The Old Foodie Speaks

 Slightly edited, the following arrived with today’s note from The Old Foodie (a favorite contact). Can you find some usage variations?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines brioche as ‘a kind of cake made of flour, butter, and eggs; sponge-cake’, Most folk on either side of the Channel, and on all sides of the big waters, would say that the OED got it badly wrong, and that brioche is bread, not cake. Perhaps the OED is merely out of date. For the word-smiths amongst you: such authorities as I have been able to rustle up at short notice say that the word ‘brioche’ comes from the Middle French dialect brier ‘to knead’, which in turn is of Germanic origin, and is ‘akin to Old High German brehhan ‘to break’.

Okay, I’ll tell you. Notice the single quotation marks where U.S. language uses doubles. And the word “amongst” echos British usage. You’re absolutely right. This writer is from Australia, where “English” takes on elements different from both U.S. and Great B. The part I thoroughly get is “…the OED got it badly wrong”.

There’s No Business Like Grammar Business (tra-la!)

My friend Gina Wilhelm, star theater performer, puppeteer, and actor, reflects my view of grammar with the following:

I realize this is a fool’s errand, given how many people can’t keep “to”, “too”, and “two” straight, let alone “your” and “you’re”, to say nothing of “who’s” and “whose”… but “premier” and “premiere” are NOT the same thing. And when dealing with the performing arts, lemme just say that about 95% of the time, the proper one has an “e” at the end. 

Consider: an actor’s premier performance during the show’s premiere! Oh yes, one other thing, a “premier danseur” is the term often used to refer to the principle male dancer in a ballet. But now we’re back to the French, without whom we probably wouldn’t even have “ballet”… or grammar consternation!

Where do they keep the men?

In manholes, of course! I’m still fighting those who consider the utility/sewer/work holes in streets as “manholes”. Some cities think so highly of the covers, they’re decorating them. Yes, painting them and making them pretty. Wouldn’t you love to see some city paint all of its “manholes” pink! (Oops, guess that’s a sexist remark. Sorry…not.)

Till the end of time...

Or is it: ’til the end of time? Another conundrum, oh my! (I always considered “till” as pertaining to what one did with soil.)

The word we’re searching for is until. As in “Until you tell me differently, I’ll till the soil with my trusty spade.”

Which is correct? Oh, Anarchist of the Grammar, please till… oops!… tell me!

Both — or rather, all — are correct, if you mean acceptable. Editors agree with all three: until, till, and ’til, as long as only one is used consistently. C-O-N-S-I-S-T-E-N-C-Y is the GA’s byword.

Till (’till, until) next time: be consistent.

You’d think NPR would know better!

Yes, I heard it on NPR this morning: “There is dozens of opportunities....” My-oh-my, the day is ruined for the Grammar Anarchist. Bad enough to begin a sentence with “there is”, but to follow it with a plural subject… oh, the pain, the pain!

Jonesing the Joneses on Apostrophe Day

When you have a name that ends in “s” (like Jones), and you want to write that it owns something, use the apostrophe-s: Mike Jones’ new book. And when you want to show the whole Jones family as owning something, you have a choice: 1) add apostrophe-s to all the Joneses (plural) — as in Joneses’s — or 2) simply add the apostrophe (Joneses’). I like the simple things in life.

What to do with a name that ends in two esses? Now there’s a problem! Or is it? Same advice as above:

The iPad belonging to Tess is Tess’s iPad.
or The iPad belonging to Tess is Tess’ iPad. 

 If you’re talking about the entire John Tess family car, you may get hissed to pieces… or not. Try:  

The Tesses’ family car. Simple and sweet.
The Tesses’s family car. Not incorrect, but it hisses so!

Just don’t call it the Tess guyses’ car!

Who walked into a bar?

 Two adverbs walked into a bar too slowly.
 An anagram walked into a bra.
A simile walked into a bar like a lion.
A reflexive pronoun walked itself into a bar.

Fun, huh! Find more of these with the Grammar Geeks group on LinkedIn (you have to be a member of both LinkedIn and the group). Buat thet oh the laughs we geeks have in that bar!

Grammar: Scary? Hmmmm!

I think I scared a writers’ magazine editor today with my talk about anarchy in the world of grammar. Sensing that I may be ready to destroy the publication’s office, he backed down from a request for me to write a column for the magazine.

C’mon! Grammar is not dangerous — unless it’s handled by an amateur writer. In fact, grammar may improve the amateur’s standing in the world of words. Consider how many bookstores shy away from “self published” books because they have seen a few books which are 1) badly written, 2) ungrammatical, 3) terribly punctuated, and 4) unstructured. Now, many book buyers paint all independently published writers with the same brush. A pity!

Everyone has a story (my long-standing belief). And now “everyone” is writing their story — many without any idea at all about the nuances of writing. “Put it on paper and it’s a book!” Not necessarily true. But hold onto your seats, fellow writers, “everyone-writing” is the way of the future. I say, “Great!” Perhaps the trend will lead us to become more discerning readers.

Sorry, Alex

When you use a trademarked or copyrighted name or logo, you have to use it as written — not the way you think it should be written. My newspaper printed an article today using the name of Alex Trebek’s “Jeopardy!” — without the exclamation point. Ooo! Not good. You’ll never get on as a contestant if you can’t spell it right. How do you feel when someone misspells your name?